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"My mate's 'boy-talk' is boring me"

My best friend has been spending so much time with her new boyfriend that I hardly see her at all. When we do meet, all she talks about is him. I'm getting fed up and I feel like we’re drifting apart. Our friendship isn't the same any more. How can I get her to spend more time with me?

Heather

A painful lesson learnt by all girls at some stage is that when a boyfriend comes on the scene even the closest of friends drift apart. But when your mate's relationship ends, as almost all romances at this age do, she'll look to you as her friend to help mend her broken heart. And she’ll still be talking about him.

Aside from asking her, you can't force her to spend more time with you but when you are together you could suggest you also chat about the things you're interested in right now. And you could also decide which particular boys you want to feature in your conversations! In the meantime, take the opportunity to develop friendships with other girls - it's never healthy to rely on just the one friend.

"I'm thin - but I want to be normal"

I'm so thin that I’m getting teased at school. I have a big appetite and I love my food so I don’t have an eating disorder. My friend says I’m lucky that I can eat and not put on weight and my mum says that I’ll fill out as I get older, but I still feel bad. I just want to be normal but I don’t know what to do.

Jessica, 14

Nothing I say will change how you feel about the way you look. To help yourself you need to decide what your definition of ‘normal’ is. Think about your friends: some are tall, others short; some have rounded figures, others are thin. How do you decide who’s normal?

The teasing is probably the real reason you feel bad. It’s a form of bullying. Don’t make a bully’s opinion more important than your own. Why would you let another girl control how you feel? If the bullies said someone was the most fantastic girl in the school would you immediately agree with them or would you decide for yourself?

As Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel bad without your consent!"

"I'm banned from lads' holiday"

My friends are going on holiday to Spain for a week this summer but my parents won’t let me go. There’s eight of us altogether and we’ve been planning it for ages. I’ve saved up the money and I was really looking forward to it. Now it’s all shattered. I tried to convince my mum and dad that we’re all responsible and wouldn’t do anything stupid, and I pointed out that this will be the last chance we’ll have of going on holiday together, but they won’t listen. What can I do?

Tom

You’re facing a big disappointment. You’ve proved that you can take responsibility by saving up the money for this holiday but your parents have still said no. It may not feel like it now, but refusing to let you go is their way of protecting you from drink, drugs and sex.

No teenage boy will convince an intelligent, caring parent that he’ll drink in moderation, think of the consequences before getting involved in one night stands and act responsibility at all times while out with his mates.

Face it - your parents have made their decision and no persuasion on your part is going to change their minds. It may console you to hear that your school is probably advising all parents not to allow students to go on holiday abroad, so it’s highly possible that the planned holiday to Spain won’t go ahead.

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