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“My mum’s an alcoholic”

My mum has been an alcoholic for as long as I can remember. She calls me and my little brother worthless and has no interest in our lives. It’s tearing our family apart and my dad’s threatening to divorce her. How can I make things right?
Michelle

It sounds like your mum has made no effort to deal with her drinking but the painful truth is that you cannot make things right. Your dad has probably tried for years to stop her and now he’s threatening a divorce. Have you considered that that you and your brother may feel safer and happier living with your dad if your mum refuses rehab?

Contact Alateen (For Eire Tel: 01 – 873 2699; UK Tel: 020 7403 0888; Northern Ireland Tel: 028 9068 2368) Meeting other teens in a similar situation and learning strategies to cope will really help you.

“I know I’m depressed”

I’ve been feeling down for ages, and a few days ago I took an online test that proved I definitely have depression. I don’t want to tell my parents because they’ll think I’m a baby and I don’t want them to feel like I let them down. What should I do? Jane

I’m not convinced that you’re clinically depressed. If you had a viral infection you’d feel down and lack energy, but would that make you think you’d let your parents down?

Tell your mum or dad that you took the online test out of curiosity and you’re worried that it says you’re depressed. It’s a sign of maturity to admit you need a doctor to properly diagnose you. Your GP will reassure you and, if necessary, arrange treatment.

“I’m really ugly”

How do you get a girlfriend when you’re ugly and have no personality? I know I’m ugly - enough people tell me I am - and I hate looking in the mirror. Cos of this I’m shy around girls and when I do pluck up the courage to talk to them, all I get are laughs and one word answers. I’m full of despair. Mike

Some teachers do a fun exercise with students where they get them to write down a physical description of themselves on a piece of paper and then add their name to it. The anonymous description is read out to the class and the other students try to identify the writer. Usually five or six people all fit the first description read out. It proves that others don’t see us the way we see ourselves.

A year from now you’ll feel differently about yourself. Remember: beauty really is in the eye of the beholder and some of the ugliest looking men have the most sex appeal for women.

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