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"My girlfriend isn’t fun anymore"

When I started going out with my girlfriend it was really fun, but after a month things went downhill. She stopped trying and stopped having fun. I thought something was bothering her but she denied it and just acted cold towards me.

I told her that I was very busy because of my exams and sports, and that if she didn't want to go out she shouldn’t waste my time. She said sorry and that she still liked me, but she didn’t change.

I got sick of it and told her I wanted a break for a few days, but she assumed it was a permanent break up. We got back together and I thought things would be better, but a week later they’re not. What should I do?

Sean

The focus of your letter is on you and how you expect your girlfriend to be. I’d turn cold on anybody who wanted me to change or implied I was a waste of time.

Maybe you didn’t mean it like that, but her cold response is giving you a clear message: you’re not treating her well. Tell her that you accept her for who she is and then take the focus off yourself. Forget about getting back to the good times. Make a fresh start and involve her in your plans.

"I’m too fat"

I’m 16 and my life is a disaster because I’m too fat. I know people look at me like I’m a slob and make comments about my size, and I’ve tried hard to lose weight, but nothing works. Please help.

Ashley

You’re telling yourself that your life is a disaster and you have a real emotional response to that belief. Stop mind reading and stop insulting yourself. It’ll damage your self-esteem.

Telling yourself nothing works is a way to avoid taking responsibility for the situation. You’re the only person who can help. Eat healthy food and take exercise - and tell yourself ‘I can do this!’ Ask family and friends for support and you will succeed.

"My teacher picks on me"

My teacher picks on me all the time. She asks me questions to try and catch me out. If she did the same to my friends it wouldn’t seem so bad, but I’m the only one she quizzes and it’s really upsetting. What should I do?

Karen

There are two ways to look at this. You can complain that your teacher picks on you. Or you can see that you’re lucky to have a teacher who expects so much of you and is prepared to push you to learn.

Work harder and have the answers ready for her. You’ll feel better, and some of your friends might get the same opportunity you’ve had. Wouldn’t it be great if they were also challenged to work harder?

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